Cleanliness is Next to Pissing Against the Wind

vaccuumSo, the other day, in a misguided attempt to have floors I can walk across barefoot without bits sticking to my soles, I vaccuumed.The wooden floorboards were smooth and shiny. The rugs were immaculate and fluffy. The tiles were speck-free. I even used that scented powder stuff you sprinkle around to make everything smell nice.

The beauteousness of the floors lasted for, oooo, a good hour, I’d say.

Then, the children happened to them.

Mr Chatterbox and Mademoiselle Headstrong are not especially messy or dirty children. I apply soap and water to them once in a while. They are just … children.

And when The Husband came home that afternoon, I laughingly said to him that I had actually vaccuumed that morning, not that anyone would know it, he very sensitively replied, “Well, if you insist on pissing against the wind, what do you expect?”

Indeed.

So, my new approach is as follows: if someone is coming over and the loungeroom rug (which covers most of the visible floor) has bits all over it – you know, popcorn, sultanas, pencil shavings, the contents of a box of tissues gleefully yet inexplicably torn to pieces and thrown into the air – I get the dustpan brush, sweep everything under the lounge, and then forget about it until a toy rolls there, I reach in to retrieve it, and grasp a handful of detritus instead. That is my signal to get the vaccuum cleaner out. Such a timesaving approach!

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5 responses to “Cleanliness is Next to Pissing Against the Wind

  1. Pingback: I. Am. OVER. Busy. | marrickville maman·

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