What’s In a Name?

nameAnd she’s back! The last several days have been rather busy. They included The Husband’s eye operation (he’s recovering well), Captain Chatterbox’s first very successful day of Big School (yes, I cried), soccer registration, a birthday party, and Mademoiselle Headstrong moving up into the Toddler Room at Little School. That’s aside from all the usual excitement of managing a family and running a household. Oh, and I decided to start a detox, too. Who needs alcohol during times like these, anyway?

Anyhoo, I find myself with time to write this morning, but I am not in the mood for anything heavy or philosophical today. Instead, I want to talk about names. Specifically, the kinds of names that make you giggle, gasp, or say “that cannot possibly be someone’s real name.” And I am not talking about the silly names celebrities give their children. We all know about Apple and Moon Unit and Cruz and North and Peaches.

Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that I am not writing this post with any intended mean-spiritedness. It truly comes from a place of wonderment at our language, and also what it must be like to go through life with a name that cannot help but provoke some kind of reaction in others. Hell, my surname rhymes either with “ass” or “arse”, depending on how you pronounce it. So, I do understand. Additionally, my maiden name was “Wright”. How many times was I called “Kate Wrong” or “Kate Left” at school? A lot. And it never wore thin at all.

This collecting of names all started several years ago when my Super Tops Awesome Best Friend and I were working for different companies and would email each other whenever we were struck by the latest noteworthy name. It got to the point where my boss had to ask what I was laughing at. When I told her, she joined in. Best boss ever? Yup. The three of us, despite having moved on work-wise, are still texting each other with new additions to the list.

The following is but a sample. Which one is your fave? If you have one to contribute, please add it to the Comments section at the end of the post!

Jim Strain
Adam Beer
Elvis Wang
John Furphy
Willy Fathers
Arizona Aroara Little
Snez Tancev
Will Ing (response: “Sibling to Abe Belle”. Boom tish.)
Janice Lokelani Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele
Venus Love
Norm Hiscock
Ian Jewels
Io Bottoms
Wenche Beard
Crystal Wormleaton
Gay Search
Kenneth Utt
Harry Wallop
Glu Camblor
Rich Nutter
Jason Stiff
Tyler Bedgood
Bernard Uber
Jeffrey Pong
Steve Spak
Joanna Broom
Suk Baker
Gooby Herms
Suk Lee
Matt Tea
Beauchamp Colclough
Bob Berk
Carrie Tooth
Dan Butt
Fabian Parrott
Pixie Le Notte
Alan Hard
Dan Tan

10 responses to “What’s In a Name?

  1. Ha ha ha… What a week you have had!!! I have tears in my eyes thinking if Master Chatterbox starting school- he will rule that roust with cheekiness coupled with finesse, as will Mademoiselle Headstrong!!! Such a proud moment for you!!!!

    My favourite names over the years… In teaching… So so many…

    Muhammad Muhammad (the child who I taught was Hanad and was not amused when I asked if his brother was MM.)

    Excuse the expletives… Thus is a true story, picture a very green Aussie teaching in East London. Roll call- Fukkit …. (Don’t remember last name) … The teaching assistant said just say it fast… It did not help.. For 2 days I called the child ‘here’ ‘you’ I couldn’t use his name.. Pronounced as it looks!!!

    And from my Aunt- another teacher… Dwayne Pipe… For a newborn, she tried to dissuade them but they loved the name Dwayne!!!

    Ooooh .. I love this game!!! Will keep you posted. It’s not mean- it’s honest..


  2. Urban legends from the world of child protection cases include:
    – Benson and Hedges for twins
    – La-a (pronounced Ladasha)

  3. Willy Fathers is hard to beat, even though there was some stiff competition…

    And, speaking of names, I love my new moniker. I’m having new business cards made up as we speak. x

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