Unhappy Camper

unhappy camperThis is not me. But it could be. It is an accurate depiction of my attitude towards caravanning and camping, long-held but reinforced anew this week by the dearth of kitchens in our house (current count: zero kitchens) and the necessity of storing and preparing food in my daughter’s (small) bedroom.

Look, a week has already passed. By this time next week everything will be back in its right place and I will have a beautiful new kitchen. In the meantime, I will continue to be inventive with my microwave, wash up in my bath and, today and tomorrow, walk out my front door, down the side path, up the back steps and, finally, swing through the back door into my bathroom, until we’re able to walk on the newly-polished kitchen floorboards. Fun! Convenient! Not …

The thing that flummoxes me is that people DO choose to live like this for “fun”. Seriously, WHY DO PEOPLE DO IT TO THEMSELVES? Caravanning, I mean? “OK, family, we’re going on holiday in our caravan. We will have some, but by no means all, of the conveniences of home, and drive far away from our comfortable actual home to park in close proximity to complete strangers who may be awful or crazy, and who we will have to listen to and interact with for the duration of our stay kitchenettewhether we want to or not. You will wee and poo either in a chemical toilet or have to walk some distance to use shared facilities. Washing yourself will be a pain. Washing your clothes will be a pain. Finding things will be a pain. And, on four of the seven days we’re here, there will be torrential rain. Our caravan will leak, and it will leak onto our bedding, which will then smell. You will never want to eat baked beans or sausages again. Mosquitoes will try to drain you. And we will be seething with resentful feelings towards each other by the end of day three.”

Yes yes yes, I know it’s not always that bad. But why risk it? Book a nice room in a nice hotel with a nice view and a nice bar, freshly laundered sheets and towels daily, food cooked for you, and free beauty products.

Now that’s a holiday.

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5 responses to “Unhappy Camper

  1. Ha ha ha… Love your work Kate!!! I agree! We went on a camping holiday- we were the most unresourced people there… Our biggest extravagance was a lead to use our computer to watch a movie!!

    I must say it rained!!! With 2 days only in a tent- we were happy!! We ate out in hotels and cafés- and ended up staying in hotels along the way and it was so worth it!!!

    Hope the kitchen gets sorted soon!! With our +1 only weeks away… I wonder if as a mum I change my thinking… I somehow doubt it!!!

  2. How exciting! Your life is about to change in ways you cannot even imagine, but you will love it. Most of the time. For the rest of the time, there is always wine. xx

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