My B(F)ucket List

Please byline: Pic: Phil McClean/solent I'M FEELING A BIT SHEEPISH! This woolly headed sheep ended up in a bit of pickle after getting his feed bucket stuck on his head. The bungling animal ended up in the sticky situation as he tried to gobble up every last grain of food left in the container. Photographer Phil McLean took the amusing snap as he passed this field near Berwick Upon Tweed, Scotland. SEE OUR COPY FOR THE FULL STORY. Please byline: Pic: Phil McClean/solent ©Phil McClean/FLPA/solent UK +44 (0) 2380 458800

Generally speaking, I love lists.

They give me a sense that I am in charge of my life and help me to de-clutter my brain – if I write it down, I don’t have to worry about forgetting it. Plus, there is something profoundly satisfying in the actual act of ticking items off.

Which is why I will not make a Bucket List. They seem to me to be less of a “to do” list to help you organise your daily life and more of a count down of the time that remains until your death. allows you to “create, track and achieve your life goals” on your mobile device, and share with your friends. “Hey! I just ate haggis! Only 23 more things to do before I can die without regret!” It has over three million Bucket List ideas. One of them is “watch a sunset”. Do you really need to write this down?

Life is, indeed, over swiftly, and some depart sooner than we’d like them to. We should seize the day. I do want to return to Paris some day. I would like to have a vegetable patch and keep chickens. But life is also full of unpredictable twists and turns. Maybe I won’t get to do or have those things. Maybe something better will come along. I prefer to do the things that come my way – by planning or chance – and enjoy them to the fullest, rather than worry about a list that hangs over my head like the reaper’s scythe.

And so, I present to you my inner-calm-inducing B(F)ucket List of Things I Have No Intention of Doing (NB – if any of these float your boat, don’t let me stop you. I am sure many of you think the desire to keep chickens is stupid):

– Skydiving

– Running in any kind of marathon

– Skiing

– Mountaineering

– Learning to be a bar tender

– Gaining an understanding of the US electoral system

– Ballroom dancing

– Improv theatre

– Going paleo

– Squashing grapes with my feet in a barrel

– Doing the splits

– Dog sledding

– Appearing on a game show

– Lion taming

– Nipple piercing

– Running with the bulls

– Owning an island

– Doing a juice fast

I will finish with an item someone included on their silly version of a bucket list:

“Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Walk around in public drinking it.”

8 responses to “My B(F)ucket List

  1. “I prefer to do the things that come my way – by planning or chance – and enjoy them to the fullest, rather than worry about a list that hangs over my head like the reaper’s scythe.”

    What a great way of putting it! I feel the same way about bucket lists. I’ve never made one, because I know I would end up with a lot of “un-crossed-off” items and loads of guilt.

    Seizing the day is more about making and taking opportunities as they come, isn’t it?

    • Thank you, Elisabeth. It’s so tricky, isn’t it, this business of living? I am a total organiser and neat freak by nature. I have a reasonably tidy home and orderly life … except when it’s not. I make decisions and plan things, which usually work and happen … except when they don’t. The things I do are try, work hard, learn, think, understand, revamp what doesn’t work … adaptable steadiness, I guess …

      BTW, my mum’s middle name is “Elisabeth” with an “s”, as is may daughter’s … lovely xx

      • Oh, how fun! I love my name, and it’s always nice to meet people who don’t stare in cross-eyed confusion after my third explanation of the spelling. 🙂

  2. totally agree on the items listed in your B(f)ucket list. I would add: eating insects regardless of whether or not they are coated in chocolate; and going on a reality TV show.

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