Generally speaking, I love lists.
They give me a sense that I am in charge of my life and help me to de-clutter my brain – if I write it down, I don’t have to worry about forgetting it. Plus, there is something profoundly satisfying in the actual act of ticking items off.
Which is why I will not make a Bucket List. They seem to me to be less of a “to do” list to help you organise your daily life and more of a count down of the time that remains until your death. BucketList.org allows you to “create, track and achieve your life goals” on your mobile device, and share with your friends. “Hey! I just ate haggis! Only 23 more things to do before I can die without regret!” It has over three million Bucket List ideas. One of them is “watch a sunset”. Do you really need to write this down?
Life is, indeed, over swiftly, and some depart sooner than we’d like them to. We should seize the day. I do want to return to Paris some day. I would like to have a vegetable patch and keep chickens. But life is also full of unpredictable twists and turns. Maybe I won’t get to do or have those things. Maybe something better will come along. I prefer to do the things that come my way – by planning or chance – and enjoy them to the fullest, rather than worry about a list that hangs over my head like the reaper’s scythe.
And so, I present to you my inner-calm-inducing B(F)ucket List of Things I Have No Intention of Doing (NB – if any of these float your boat, don’t let me stop you. I am sure many of you think the desire to keep chickens is stupid):
– Running in any kind of marathon
– Learning to be a bar tender
– Gaining an understanding of the US electoral system
– Ballroom dancing
– Improv theatre
– Going paleo
– Squashing grapes with my feet in a barrel
– Doing the splits
– Dog sledding
– Appearing on a game show
– Lion taming
– Nipple piercing
– Running with the bulls
– Owning an island
– Doing a juice fast
I will finish with an item someone included on their silly version of a bucket list:
“Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Walk around in public drinking it.”